Tuesday, December 27, 2011

A hunter who can hunt without hunting is a good hunter....

Ok so my family is larger then most, not extreme like the Duggars or anything, but not your typical husband and wife and 2.2 kids...There are 7 people in this family.  Well, that being said, times are tough and stretching the dollar is most definitely needed, my solution..go online and find some recipes for things that will feed a large family. 

Now, having cooked for several years i know that if a recipe says "feeds 4" they are talking about 4 servings of about 1 cup per serving...Ok this doesn't work... i have 4 grown men in this household plus a pregnant woman...1 cup servings not happening! If i put 1 cup of something in front of each of them there would be a major revolt and that doesn't even include what the pregnant one would do, i would be murdered in my sleep for sure!!!

But i digress...So i go hunting with my favorite shooting partner Mr. Google for some rib sticking, money saving, feed the damn army recipes...what do i find? Lots of sights that say "large family cooking"..Awesome, Mr. Google, he knows how to hunt lemme tell you.  So imagine my dismay when i click on these recipes and what do they say..Feeds 5, Feeds 4...OMFG Seriously! I am quite certain that the link said Large Family Cooking, perhaps i am getting blind, lemme go back an see...Nope, that is what is says in big bold, underlined letters.  Really, you think 5 is a big family!  What happened to stews that filled 10 gallon pans, hell what happened to 10 gallon pans for that matter!  What happened to recipes for food that fed more then delicate yuppies watching thier calories...I need food people, lots of it and STAT!!!!!!

So after 5 minutes of breathing techniques and a shot of jack daniels it hits me...The Duggars, they got 19 kids, they gotta have recipes to feed 3 armies...So Mr. Google lets go hunting in Arkansas....Mr. Google immediately finds the duggar sight (isn't he amazing!!!) and i click and yup, lookie there a recipes tab...Hallelujah we are saved...um, well, wait a minute Joe Bob Duggar why do your recipes say Feeds 5! Your show is called 19 Kids and Counting!!!  OMG it's a conspiracy, even the duggars won't just gimme a recipe i don't need to double, or triple or quadruple.....  That's it i am taking Mr. Google out back and shooting him behind the woodshed and cooking him for dinner.  Don't worry i will just tell everyone else he ran away.


Friday, December 9, 2011

Why do they always say that.....

There have been times when I’ve been really stressed out over something going on in my life only to hear someone say "…just let it go". I tried on a few occasions, but it never quite worked that way for me.   People often say things like "…don’t give it any power, you can actually feed your issues and make them bigger if you constantly think and talk about them”. However, my thought there was that ignoring your issues will not cause them to go away. 

It seems to me that I often think I’m letting go, but what usually happens is that I end up disconnecting from parts of myself. All those painful feelings and conflicted issues then stay trapped in my body. These conflicts will eventually resurface in one form or another.Thoughts, feelings, emotions and life experiences have to be absorbed. 

Many of us struggle with parts of our lives that are not working the way that we want them to. We may try to control the outcome by manipulating other people or the situation that we find ourselves in. In my experience, trying to force matters usually generates more stress and it causes us to jam up inside. The additional pressure we generate may cause things to blow up around us.  Don’t get me wrong, there are times when it’s appropriate to take charge to create a more favorable outcome. But there are times when I now realize that I’m holding on too tightly by trying to control the outcome. I have to stop and allow myself to feel and understand what is going on and that it isn’t necessarily my thing to control.  Fear, anxiety or feelings of frustration definitely surface when I let go of my need to control certain things. I think that understanding these feelings will make it easier for me to come to a place of acceptance, relax into what’s happening and allow things take their course. 

Unresolved issues and unprocessed thoughts, emotions and life experiences seem to accumulate within me. I have become so saturated with all this old clutter that i have very little room to take in anything new. Look at young people today, how they learn quickly, are full of life and they tend to jump right into things. Notice too, how some people slow down and sometimes become set in their ways as they age. They may also have a tendency to live in the past.   I think if you truly look at someone you can see the accumulated residue of people’s past in how they act and their body language. I think that I have become  saturated by the clutter of my unprocessed thoughts, emotions and life experiences and that it has had a tremendous deadening effect on me. I think I have lost that passionate fire within that would renew me and cause me to want to engage in life. It’s as if my circuitry has become so corroded that I have very little openness or receptivity to take in anything new. 

All of us have difficulty moving on at times. People change; friends often move away or grow in different directions. We may have found the love of our life, but we eventually grow old and die. The only constant in my life is change. But if I dwell on those things I become blind to the good things and times that are happening right before me.

We can’t see our emotions and I think that’s why so many people are not aware of the impact they have upon us. Feelings and emotions arise in response to the events taking place in my life and from my interpretation of these events.  The conflicted thoughts, feelings and unresolved issues that I fail to absorb get pushed down inside of me.  I therefore continue to struggle with the same issues throughout the course of my life. I try to change but I find myself running into many of the same problems. Buried emotions keep these patterns locked into place. I can’t change these things unless I begin to absorb the underlying thoughts and emotions. 

I often say that I have forgiven those who have wronged me. I think that a lot of times I am not being honest with myself and still carrying around lots of hurt, resentment and other conflicted thoughts and feelings on the inside.   What would happen if I focused all my attention on a person who has hurt me at some time in my life?   What if I imagined the person as if they were sitting right there in the room with me? How would I feel? What would I say? If I said those things would I start to feel different about that situation, freer from it?  Hell yes I would!!!  How many times have you gotten into a disagreement with someone, walked away talking to yourself and had an epiphany…..wouldn’t that be the exact the same thing!!!!

I think that I, like many people, gain some form of gratification from holding onto past hurts. That it may serve as a means of gaining attention or acknowledgement. For instance, some children could only get attention from their parents by creating some drama or being sick and then  these patterns become more deeply ingrained over time.   It can be a little painful to really look into the mirror and see who I am and what I am doing. It’s important for me to be fully honest with myself and acknowledge the unhealthy ways that I have tried to manipulate myself.  

It can be very difficult to let go of people who for one reason or another are no longer an active part of our lives. Parts of us are still very much attached to these individuals.   Feelings and emotions are the same way.   I think the key to this is to come from a place of acceptance of myself and how i feel by saying something like "…okay, this is what I’m feeling right now … why am I feeling it".

I think I  try to busy myself or create distractions so I don’t have to think about or experience all those unpleasant feelings.  But then all that yuk stays trapped inside of me. I never really resolve the underlying issues when I do that. I then go on down the road in life and end up creating the same kinds of issues all over again.    I think the unhealthy patterns that cause me to fixate on these things are programmed into my subconscious mind. There’s no intellectual process or attitude shift that will change that. These patterns are hardwired into my brain and they have to be reformatted…by me!!!! 

I think that I have to bring my attention to what’s really happening at that moment. This may involve acknowledging something I am uncomfortable with or confronting feelings/experiences I have buried deep down inside. I don’t think that I can just make these things go away but I do think I can allow them to stop owning me and that I can feel the things that I should feel about that situation and then … THEN I can in fact simply let it go.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

I think Dr. Suess invented the english language.....

English is the most widely used language in the history of our planet. One in every 7 humans can speak it. More than half of the world's books and  international mail is in English. Of all the languages,it has the largest vocabulary - perhaps as many as 2 MILLION words. Nonetheless, let's face it - English was actually invented by Dr. Suess...... 

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple or pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you comb thru annals of history but not a single annal? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?  If teachers taught, why didn't preacher praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?  How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and wise guy are opposites? How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike? How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?

Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent? Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown? Met a sung hero or experienced requited love? Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable? And where are all those people who ARE spring chickens or who would ACTUALLY hurt a fly?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm clock goes off by going on.

English was invented by Dr. Suess, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all). That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this blog, I end it.

Friday, November 11, 2011

Attack of the 50' mermaid

I was sure it'd be impossible to find a more horrifying mating ritual than the praying mantis, but i think i have found it. You can thank the salmon. You've probably heard the old tale of how salmon swim upstream to mate, but that's not painting the true, terrifying picture....
Let's say you and a bunch of friends make a journey to your childhood hometown for an orgy (look, you need to accept that the animal kingdom just has looser rules here). But the trip is dangerous--you'll have to walk across a wilderness filled with enemies, and the air at the destination will kill you if you breathe too much of it. So it's actually kind of like the fellowship in Lord of the Rings traveling to Mordor, only instead of saving Middle Earth, you're looking to grab lots o' strange titty.

By the time you make it to the destination, the trip has been so hard on you and your companions that everyone is wounded or literally rotting on their feet. You've been reduced to a whole bunch of horny zombies. Yup that's right, zombies...  This mass of horny zombies congregates in a disgusting, debauched tangle of genitals and rotting flesh. And as soon as everyone is done sexing it up, the entire undead swinger's convention just drops dead.  

Why in the hell do salmon go through this? Well, they're born in fresh water, but migrate to the sea as they mature. However, at some point in their adult life, a primal desire drives them to swim back to the freshwater they were born in to mate and lay their eggs. Even more amazing, the drive is synchronized in every generation, so everybody you grew up with as a salmon just starts leaving around the same time.
In order to survive the journey and deal with the change from salt to freshwater, a lot of hormonal changes take place. Unfortunately, these changes practically destroy their bodies, turning them into zombie fish. What with all the swimming through treacherous, brackish water, surrounded by predators like bears, all while your own body starts shutting down...it's a wonder any of them even make it at all.

And once it's done, they all just die, like some kind of underwater Jamestown. The next generation will benefit by the increase in nutrients in the stream caused by a whole lot of parents-turned-fertilizer, ensuring that the next generation can live on and...die horribly as well?

Could it possibly get any worse? Oh yeah, it can: sex for salmon is external and without anything we humans would regard as pleasure, which is why you should never ever date a mermaid.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Everyone else can freeze....

I see this commercial last night...It is a homeless guy on the street with a "will work for" sign, the next shot is a homeless woman sitting on the ground, her back to a brick wall shivering in the cold, the third shot is another homeless guy pushing a shopping cart of junk...the end result is an ad with the tag line "a home for every veteran"...

Ok, i have an issue here........ 

First of all what makes them a veteran..Is it that they served during a war or are all people who serve considered veterans?  If it just includes people who served during war what do those that served in peace time get? A hand shake and  " sorry we weren't fighting then,maybe next time" ? Because i always thought that you were a veteran no matter when you served and whether you poured sand out of your boots or not you got the same benefits.

Second of all, with the amazing amount of homeless people (including families with children) why are we only willing to "Give" housing to homeless veterans?   And if we can "give" this housing away, why haven't we done it sooner and again for ALL people who are homeless? Would it not make more sense to house these people and make them productive members of society again?

Would it not make more sense to house the needy regardless of their military service?  Is it a ploy by the government to get more people to serve in the military...you know something like (picture Uncle Sam here)  "Enlist now, serve your country and if you ever have a mental breakdown, make bad financial decisions and loose it all, or simply choose to not pay your bills we will give you a home!!!"  Well, gee i guess i better run right out and sign myself up...you never know when i might be homeless.

My parents served in the army, both of them, my husband served in the army.  Are they offered the same benefits as those going to Iraq now? Hell No.  Yes i understand that the men and women over there now are in a time of war and being shot at, etc....So again i ask you , is it OK to change the benefits for military personnel simply because "oh gosh there wasn't a war going on then"....NO.  Is it OK to only provide housing to homeless vets when there are millions of non vets on the street in the same position...NO.

But i guess since my parents, my husband and millions of other VETERANS weren't being shot at daily, they no longer qualify as veterans.  I guess since the woman down by my local post office holding the sign that says "will work for food, shelter, anything" is screwed and will have to continue freezing her butt cheeks off since she didn't serve in the military either.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Shhhh...Don't Say THAT word...

I am a member of several forums and some of them are sexual in nature.  Some have tips to improve your sex life, some are advice groups on everything from positions to sex toys.  There is something that they all have in common that i find amazing...All the women on these sights can say words like vibrator, dildo, various phrases for having sex, clit, penis, etc but NONE of them seem to manage to say "my period"...

Really? you can say all those other words without a second thought but not that?  Why? Is "My period" more embarrasing to say then "i had anal last night?"  Is having our period so embarrassing that we make up for it with pretty little euphemisms like "Aunt Flo is visiting" or "Miss Scarlet has come to Tara", some unusual ones that i have heard are "vampire trolling", "Dishonorable discharge from the uterine navy" or my personal favorite..."Taking Carrie to the Prom"!!!!!

I mean really ladies if we can talk about taking it up the ass, cumming so hard we squirt and the new pink, rabbit eared 5 speed dildo we just bought then surely we can say "i'm on my period so i didn't get laid last night"..which is a whole lot less embarrassing then saying "I didn't get laid last night because it's Game Day for the Crimson Tide"!!!


Friday, October 28, 2011

Ho Ho...Holy Cow it's only October...

And i have 8" of snow in my back yard.  Where exactly did Fall go?  I am quite certain that it was in existence for about 2 days prior to the new white grass i am now sporting....Don't get me wrong I love snow...very very much...what i don't like is the people who cease to function in the stuff.

People who could drive perfectly fine, well by their standards anyway, have forgotten what a solid white line means or that brakes and ice don't mix.  Mothers, all bundled up in their warm coats, seem oblivious to the baby in the stroller they are pushing, into the wind, all the while poor baby is wearing PJ's and is a not so wonderful shade of blue.  

How is it that a little white stuff makes people forget the simplest things? Hey Mr. White Ford Pickup Truck who just slid across two lanes in front of me...That turn at 45 mph wasn't a good idea now was it....Hey little, old, white haired lady with the poodle in her lap, why is your left blinker on when you really wanted to make a right hand turn across 3 lanes of traffic and then flip me off for honking at you...Hey Mr. I Just Got My License, why do you need to practice donuts in the middle of the highway..oh wait your not practicing you just thought 65 thru the snow plow drifts would be "cool dude"...

I like snow, i don't like snowy people. Ok off my soap box and onto the couch with me.....


Tuesday, October 25, 2011

New Stuff, New Stuff!!!

Check out the new stuff my hubby is making!!  You can find these designs, and lots more, at our Etsy shop (shameless plug!!!)...What do you guys think??

Monday, October 24, 2011

I use to....

I use to change your diapers, now i wash jeans that had holes in them when i bought them.
I use to feed you strained peas now you eat anything that doesn't eat you first...except pasta salad.
I use to tell you "No" all the time, now it rarely passes my lips. Not because you are spoiled but because you know what is expected and allowed.
I use to carry you on my hip, now your driving the car down the street.
I use to tuck you into bed each night, now it's a hug and a kiss and see ya in the morning mom.
I use to watch Lion King and Sesame Street with you now we watch Shaun of the Dead and South Park.
I use to hold my breath when you would ride your bike now you do things on a skate board that scares the shit out of me.
I use to buy you cute little baseball hats now only your FOX hat is good enough.
You use to have a friends with names like John and George, now it's Cassie and Taylor.
You use to think Knock Knock jokes were funny now you tell me jokes that make me blush.
You use to think kissing was gross now you make comments like "i kissed those lips".
You use to hate sleeping at anyone's house now i can't keep you home some weekends.
You use to fit in my hands now you are taller then i am,
You use to be my baby now your my young man...sniff

It is amazing the things that stay the same and the things that change as your kids grow up.  It is hard for me to believe that Josh is 18 and lives on his own now.  I use to think "i can't wait until he is 10 and we can....".  Now i just wonder..."when did my little boy become such an wonderful man"


Embarrassing things i have done.....

 To get my kids to sleep at night.  If you have kids, i am sure there are nights when you will do just about anything to get them to sleep.   For me this included singing everything from country music to nursery rhymes.   At some point, in the dead of night i am sure, i managed to change a couple nursery rhymes to fit my kids.

For my son.... 

This is a take of on The Grande Old Duke of York.....
My version.."Joshua, Joshua, Josh, he had 10,000 men, he marched them up and he marched them down and he marched them back again.   Now when they were up they were up, and when they were down they were down, and when they were only half way up they were neither up nor down."

The second one is a take of on My Son John...
My version: "Diddle diddle dumplin my son Josh. Went to bed with his trousers on. One shoe on and one shoe off, diddle diddle dumplin my son josh"

For my daughter, there is only one that i changed, it is a take of of Georgie Porgie:

My version..."Morgie Porgie puddin and pie, kissed the boys and made them cry.When the girls came out to play, morgie porgie ran away"

And then of course their is Barney...the dreaded purple pain in the ass...I mean dinosaur.  My son was addicted to this creature and yes, at 2 in the morning, while trying in vein to get him to sleep, i have been known to break into chorus' of "1,2,3,4,5..once i caught a fish alive" or the dreaded "sally the camel has 5 humps"....Thank the goddess there were no tv camera's present to witness such horrid scenes!!!

Anyway, those are a few of the embarrassing things i sang to my kiddo's to get them to sleep so I could sleep.  As you can see Josh was harder and i had to make up more then one for him lol.


A walk in my shoes.....

Hi, my name is Anryan and I am your local, neighborhood animal shelter employee. I am the one you all hate, the one that kills all the animals, the one you think must get a thrill out of watching things die.  I wish i could educate you, better yet i wish you could walk a day in my shoes.

Friday is the day that everyone looks forward to,but not me.   Friday is the day i kill animals. I walk up and down the rows of kennels and cages,i look into the brown and blue eyes and decide which ones get to stay and which ones get to go. Too old, too young, too sick, or just plain been here to long. One by one i fold the cards, one by one i walk them back to the euthanasia room. The room where everyone  thinks i like to be.

I give each dog a treat, each cat a spoonful of wet cat food. I pet them and tell them how good they are, how pretty they are, how much I love them. Even the dogs that want to bite me are treated this way. I put them on the blanket covered table, hug them close and give them the calmest, most peaceful death i can. All they feel is a pin prick, no more then thier rabies shot, and then they lay down and all the pain and loneliness stops. 100+ animals later and my job is done. 100+ animals later i take a deep breath and go out to face people bringing in more animals they no longer have the time for, don't want to deal with, can't be bothered to train and have no idea where "fluffy", "Fifi" and fido may end up.

I don't want my job but i would rather be the one doing it knowing i am well trained and give animals a peaceful, painless death which is better then some of the cruel things these poor animals have faced. Please put me out of work, spay / neuter your pet. Every puppy or kitten that is born forces one more animal to walk through my euthanasia door. Animals are not disposable and i am not your garbarge man, please consider the fact that animals are a luxury and not a privilege.


Sunday, October 23, 2011

Now That Was Awesome!

Zombie crawl was amazing!  It was the coolest thing I have been to in quite sometime.  There were pajama zombies, doctor zombies, chef zombies, hell there were even Bert & Ernie zombies!  Some were really very cheesy, others were scary as hell.  I had a few that made me shudder lol.  The did a group "thriller" dance...nothing like 500 plus zombies doing that !!!  Umbrella corporation (from resident evil) had cars there and soldiers. Ghostbusters car was there too. They had games (shoot the zombies that were attacking you, etc) and people were doing zombie make up for free!

If you had a duct tape "X" on you then you were considered a victim and zombies had free reign to attack you!  Some victims had toy nerf guns to shoot the zombies that attacked and plastic swords as well.  It was cool to watch! They would swarm a victim and take them down to the ground then act like they were eating them.

Next year, and this will become a yearly tradition now, i am going all zombie'd up!!!  They even had an "Organ Trail" which was a combination of the amazing race and fear factor and the winning team won like $300!

Here are a couple pic's, it was amazing!

Friday, October 21, 2011

I REALLY shoulda listened...but where would the fun in that be!!!!

Ignorance really is bliss. In almost anything, but in my life that saying reigns supreme.  This became frighteningly clear when i decided to plant pumpkins.  Irish looks at me and says "ok make a mound of dirt and poke 1 seed into each mound and you will be good"...oh no no no, that is too much left to chance...Crop Failure!! I will end up with 1 pumpkin!!  

So i smile sweetly at him and say "yes dear, i got this" and proceed to plant 7 pumpkin seeds into each little mound ... I had 10 mounds in the garden, you do the math lol.  He comes back outside and says "what are you going to do with the rest of the seeds" and i said..."um, what rest of them..i planted them all"...at the dumb founded look he gave me i smiled sweetly and said "hush, i am compensating for crop failure, they can't all possibly grow"....Bad, Bad choice of words!!!

Ok, so fast forward 2 weeks(ish) and i go outside and there are little green shoots everywhere in these pumpkin mounds.  I'm thinking "uh oh, well maybe he won't notice"..and go about my business of taking care of my "babies".  

Now we fast forward about a month and a half after planting....I now live in the pumpkin forest.  I kid you not, the damn things are everywhere, they are like that pink mass in the Blob..they keep putting more and more vines out EVERYWHERE! I have rose bushes screaming in terror, broccoli plants cowering in the corners, it's anarchy in my back yard....Charlie Brown, come on down, the great pumpkin is sure to appear in this yard!!!

so, pumpkin forest continues to grow and low and behold i have pumpkins...big, fat orange pumpkins and it is only AUGUST...I wanted Halloween pumpkins...So a harvesting we go....22 pumpkins later i am looking at my counter going "Omg, i don't even LIKE pumpkin!!"....Thank god for Google and Old Farts for neighbors!

Did i mention Irish had previously mentioned i was insane for planting all 70 pumpkin seeds?  Did i mention that i told him "i got this"?...Well like i said ignorance is bliss and i got more pumpkin then i know what to do with and that was just the first harvest!  Irish however has learned the diplomacy of a good husband and has yet to say "i told you so"...he just looks at me and shakes his head when i bring in more pumpkins from outside.

So i pay homage to Google for the pumpkin pie, bread, cheesecake, cake, muffin, pretzel and countless other recipes i made.  I bow to my neighbors for continuously taking baked pumpkin this and fried pumpkin that off my hands.  I throw a prayer to the goddess that my family indulgently eats every piece of pumpkin i cook.  And i graciously thank all my friends for the pumpkin seed recipes..who knew you could flavor them!!!

So ignorance is bliss, and wives should listen to thier husbands....I refuse to admit to this knowledge even if i did just type it....Wonder what would happen if i throw out a package of watermelon seeds next year!!!!  Can't be any worse then the 63 pumpkins i have harvested!!!


Masochistic Therapy or a Good Time?

I have this obsession...I have tried not to look, not to watch, I have tried to ignore that it was there and i can't do it....What makes this obsession worse is that i am completely terrified of what i am obsessed with and that thing is ZOMBIES!! Yup, the undead, the walking corpse, the brain eating sub-human...i can't resist them. If a zombie movie is on, i have to watch it. The Walking Dead...gotta see it every Sunday, no exceptions. The problem i have with this obsession is, in case i failed to mention it,  I AM SCARED TO DEATH OF ZOMBIES!  I have horrid nightmares every time i watch a zombie show/movie. If i am home alone at night, a baseball bat is always within reach!!

Grim, my husband, has decided that it is time to "exorcise" this demon.  It is time to face my fear in what he calls a "good time for all"....Zombie Crawl 2011.  That's right, here in Denver we have the largest zombie gathering in the U.S. every October and guess who is going tomorrow....ME the zombie obsessed woman who is afraid of her obsession!!! 

Masochistic therapy is what i call it, fun is what Grim calls it...hmmmmmm.  1,000 zombies and me, no baseball bat, no machete, no boom stick...just me surrounded by the undead....

I Can't Wait!!!!!!


Thursday, October 20, 2011

How the hell does that work

when ever someone finds out that we are polyamorous the questions start flying and usually faster then i can type the answers. 

 What the hell is polyamory? Aren't you just polygamists?

Polyamory is the love of more than one person in a romantic and emotional sense.  We are all capable of loving more than one person, which is why we can love more than one child, more than one friend, etc.  People who practice polyamory choose to love more than one person romantically, and yes sexually. People who practice polyamory can be heterosexual, homosexual or bi-sexual.

Polygamy is typically associated with  Fundamentalist Mormons and is religious based and typically in Polygamy there is multiple marriage.  The other big difference it that typically, polygamy is one husband and several wives, in polyamory the combinations are endless.

When talking to poly folk you will hear some interesting new words...Polyandry (which is a woman with two or more husbands), polyfidelity (which is a form of polyamory where all members are equal partners and agree to be sexually active only with members within the group), Triad (a three way relationship where all parties usually are involved with each other), a Vee (where one person is involved with two others but those others aren't involved with each other), Primary (this is the person you were with prior to choosing poly), Secondary (this is the new person brought into a relationship), NRE (new relationship energy, that feeling when you first fall in love and all you can think of is that person).

Ok, so now I know what your saying but how do you decide to do that....

For everyone i think they come about their lifestyle choices as they learn who they are, or as they are learning who they are.  Society teaches us that monogamy is what we should all strive for and what is acceptable.  Never mind that ancient cultures, and yes even people of the bible, practiced polyamory...but i digress.  For Grim and I it started as a series of  conversations after hearing of the concept.  We discussed the psychological aspects...how do people handle jealousy, how do people split their time, how would you handle the secrecy and judgement of others, etc.  We also discussed the sociological aspects of poly...how would you assimilate into a monogamous world as poly,  how would your family treat you, etc.  We talked about these things for quite some time and after about 2 yrs of talking we decided if the opportunity presented itself we would give it a shot.  We didn't start looking for people, nor did we have people in mind, they kinda found us a few months after we made our decision lol.

Ok, so you decided monogamy wasn't for you.  When you found someone else, how did you figure out the logistics...you know who sleeps where and when, etc
This takes a bit of work, and every poly family will have a different way of doing things..here is our way.  First off Rules, you have to be careful with rules...they have a way of multiplying and taking over your lives i a bad way.  We started off with tons of rules (for everything from who sleeps where to who sits where at dinner) and slowly realized that we weren't living our lives, we were following a manual and miserable. So, here is what we do as far as logistics/living...

1.) we sleep two nights with each partner then change.  So I sleep with Grim for 2 nights, then with Irish for 2 nights then back to Grim for 2 nights, etc.  When i sleep with Irish then David sleeps with Cerena.

That's it, that is the only rule still in existence.  We don't change nights unless it is an anniversary.  Birthdays, holidays, whatever, we sleep with whom we are scheduled. 

Ok, well that makes sense...So what about all those other questions that monogamous people don't understand.

How do you prevent pregnancy.....the same way as monogamous couples do, condoms, birth control pills, vasectomy, tubal ligation, etc.  In our house I have had my tubes tied and Cerena is on birth control pills.

What happens if you want to have sex with someone and it isn't your night with them...Our decision was to not have sex with the person we aren't sleeping with that night.  For us it is about respect, other poly families have other thoughts i am sure.

Why stay married.... Because I love my husband and I don't see the need to be divorced simply because i have added another person to my life, or him to his.  A lot of people will say that I have disrespected the sanctity of my marriage vows, but since no where in them did they say "forsaking all others" i am not sure that is true lol  Even if it was, to me everyone's concept of marriage is different and it isn't up to anyone else, except me and my family, to determine if we are disrespectful of anything.

What do you tell the kids....For us it was something we discussed with them before Irish and Cerena came into our lives.  Our kids were 8 and 15 at that point and we had open, honest discussions with them about what we thought.  When we found Irish and Cerena, then we introduced them to the kids right away and allowed them to form their own friendships naturally.

How do you handle Jealousy...There was a lot of jealousy in the beginning but over time we all learned a very valuable lesson..talk.  Jealousy, to us, is a sign of something in our lives not being met and if you sit and figure out what that is and discuss it the jealousy disappears instantly and your original problem is solved appropriately.

there are a million other questions, and issues, that i will address randomly in this blog.  Problems that we faced, things we have overcome, situations we encounter and stumble thru.  Feel free to comment and ask anything, i am completely open to anything and can't be offended lol.


Who We Are..

Welcome to our little village.  My name is Anryan I am a stay at home mom to two kids (Joshua who is 18 and Morgan who is 11) and home school my 11 yr old.  I have been married to my husband, Grim, for 16 yrs and I have been with my significant other, Irish, for 3 yrs.  Ok, what!  Two Men?!?  Yup you read that right, we are poly-amorous. Just to make things even more fun, my husband also has a significant other, a woman named Cerena, who has also been with us for about 3 yrs.  I know, this brings up TONS of questions and you will find a lot of those answers in the post called "How the hell does that work".  

Anyway, as I said i am a stay at home mom and take care of the house, school work, cooking, etc.  Grim has a business from the house making all kinds of things, check out our etsy shop @ www.etsy.com/shop/thesoulstonefamily.  He makes some amazing things and is always adding new stuff!  Irish is a welder by trade and loves his job.  He makes railings, trailers, pretty much anything from functional to pretty.  Cerena does retail, she has worked for Game Stop as well as loan companies and a few others.  

Home life, as you will learn if you keep up with this, is never dull lol.  Between the day to day things, our lifestyle choice, the home business and well life in general there is never a boring moment...chaotic yes, boring no!

Hope to see you around!