Friday, December 28, 2012

Not as easy as it seems, but very very doable!

It is something that sounds so very easy and yet for the majority of the population we can't even manage to do it for 3 hours let alone on a daily basis.  We can't do it alone, we can't do it with our spouse and we sure can't do it with a circle of our friends.  What am i talking about?  Being positive.

Sit and think about how many negative thoughts you have in a day.  Hell, for most of us the first thought when we wake up is negative...I gotta get up!  I don't want to go to work. The kids are gonna be crap heads today just like yesterday.  Insert your first daily thought here.  I mean seriously, how many times have you woken up and thought "it's gonna be a great day".....maybe a handful, and those were special occassions you have been waiting for.  Think about all the times you get your paycheck and all you can think of is "great, screwed again" or "gee that's nice, nothing left for me" or even better " gee thanks for the mere pennies you pay me".  How often have you thought "yay i can pay my bills" or "woohoo i can get brakes for the car"....probably less then you were happy to wake up in the morning.  Think about all the times that someone did something for you and your thought was "that's nice but..." or "guess they don't know me very well"...instead of being genuinely happy and thankful that someone was thinking of you and trying to do something for you.  

What is my point here?  It's simple....positive brings positive and negative brings negative.  Sure we have all heard that before but think about it.  If you wake up assuming the kids will be crap heads your apt to react to that thought and the smallest thing they do will irritate/anger you...when really it wasn't a big deal, however your already negative mind set made it so.  How about that paycheck?  "gee nothing left for me" but do you stop and realize that you paid for the roof over your head, the gas in your car, the lights, the water, etc....Those things don't make you happy cause they aren't something material in your hand or something you wanted.  What about that gift that just wasn't what you were going for?  Let's say your friend got you a backpack...and ugly, gross, hot pink backpack.  When they gave it to you they were all happy and excited  because they got you something they thought you would like.  So instead of going "ugh this is horrid" look at it as a big hug from your special friend everytime you put it on and be thankful that someone cares for you.  If someone comments on it being ugly, you can say "thank you my friend gave it to me and while it isn't the best looking i truly cherish it and my friend"...or some such.

On that same note, how many times have you woke up negative and that negativity filled your entire day and made everything just go wrong?  And when something did seem to go right it just wasn't right enough.  How would it be to not have those days any more?  How would it be to be happier?  I think it would be great.  In all honesty it is great.  

I use to wake up going "ugh the kids are gonna be crap heads today" and watch my day avalanche into oblivion.  I use to complain that i didn't have enough money, enough time. These days i no longer think or act that way.  It is hard, it requires alot of retraining of our brains on a minute by minute basis.  But it does work.  

Here is what i do....I imagine the strictest teacher i ever had (Mr. Kamiya) following me around and writing down every negative thought i have.  For every positive thought i have it erases a negative one he wrote down.  Do it however you wish, this just works for me.  The point it when we realize how many negative thoughts we have in a day it really opens your eyes.  I was shocked and i thought i was a positive person lol.  Doing this day in and day out has made me retrain my thought process.  where i use to  think "of course you spilt you milk on the carpet for the third time, what is wrong with you"   I know think "uh oh, you spilt your milk again, lets clean it up and be sure you only drink you milk in the kitchen or from a sippy cup" and move forward. Where i use to think "OMG can this cashier move any quicker she must be dumb" i now think "oooo look at the sexy guy on the cover of people magazine"...You get the point.  

The second thing i do, and i got this from a book, is that before i get out of bed i think about 10 things i am grateful for in my life..It could be my computer for having friends i would never have, the lights for letting me see, my hubby for loving me, etc.  Then i get up.  This keeps me positive from the start.  The other thing i do is when i go to bed i go over all the good things that happened to me that day and then pick the one i think is the greatest and am thankful for it.  This allows me to relax and to realize just how many good things have gone on today.  

Being negative is so much easier then being positive...Just like being naughty is more fun the being good. However, if we appreciate what we have then we will have more of it.  IF we are thankful for that puny check it will grow (maybe you will get a lottery scratch off for the 25.00 you needed for gas), if we appreciate our friends more we will have more, if we truly appreciate the gifts we receive we will get more, if we wake up thinking "i love my kids" we will wake them up happier and they will be happier and our day will go smoother...

It sounds like an easy thing...just be positive, just be is, if you can retrain your mind and truly look at all the wonderful things you matter what your situation.   

Sunday, December 9, 2012

How to sell yourself short

Humans are interesting creatures to say the least.  There are all types and personalities but there is an urge in most adults, not all, that at times surges to the top and we fail to suppress it to our detriment...the need to be in control and the thought process of "my way is the only way" that goes along with that need of control.  

There are situations where you need to be in control, for safety or other reasons and then this is a good attribute but all too often we feel the need to be in control, and thus right, in situations where we would benefit so much more if we just listened to what others were proposing and thought before we opened our mouths and spoke.  Yes and No are easily said but should always be accompanied by a decent amount of thought prior to voicing them.

How many times has something been proposed to you, when mentally you had already figured it out, and you simply said "no that won't work" and regardless of what the other said you stood your ground...and inevitably sunk in the quicksand that was now under your feet?  How many times have you figured out a way to get a busy day done and when someone with you needed to do something in the middle of it you got mad at them because "it screwed up your plans"..When in reality that 5 extra minutes or even an hour, never changed anything significant other then to crash your good mood for the day and make you be ugly to people around you?  And all because it wasn't YOUR way.

It seems that we have a short time on this planet to live our lives and love the people in it.  With the state of the world and the government it seems that we all have our opinion on this or that and it seems to drift into our day to day psyche.  We are such an egotistical species that we sit and think "well i could fix that" and we can't, we sit and think "my way would have worked, dumb ass" when maybe it wouldn't have.  With all the turmoil and hatred why do we allow ourselves to be consumed by the negative.  Think about hard would it be to simply shut your trap when someone proposed something and thought about it as hard and thoroughly as you would if someone were proposing something you had already thought of?  How many good moods would you have instead of bad?  How many good days would you have instead of bad?  How many more friends would you have? How much more money would be in your pocket?

Its ridiculously easy to sell yourself short in this day and age and it won't cost you a dime from your pocket or a swipe from your credit card...All you have to do is pretend your Frank Sinatra, open your mouth without thinking and say "I did it my way"