Shhhh...Don't Say THAT word...

I am a member of several forums and some of them are sexual in nature.  Some have tips to improve your sex life, some are advice groups on everything from positions to sex toys.  There is something that they all have in common that i find amazing...All the women on these sights can say words like vibrator, dildo, various phrases for having sex, clit, penis, etc but NONE of them seem to manage to say "my period"...

Really? you can say all those other words without a second thought but not that?  Why? Is "My period" more embarrasing to say then "i had anal last night?"  Is having our period so embarrassing that we make up for it with pretty little euphemisms like "Aunt Flo is visiting" or "Miss Scarlet has come to Tara", some unusual ones that i have heard are "vampire trolling", "Dishonorable discharge from the uterine navy" or my personal favorite..."Taking Carrie to the Prom"!!!!!

I mean really ladies if we can talk about taking it up the ass, cumming so hard we squirt and the new pink, rabbit eared 5 speed dildo we just bought then surely we can say "i'm on my period so i didn't get laid last night"..which is a whole lot less embarrassing then saying "I didn't get laid last night because it's Game Day for the Crimson Tide"!!!


Anryan

Ho Ho...Holy Cow it's only October...

And i have 8" of snow in my back yard.  Where exactly did Fall go?  I am quite certain that it was in existence for about 2 days prior to the new white grass i am now sporting....Don't get me wrong I love snow...very very much...what i don't like is the people who cease to function in the stuff.

People who could drive perfectly fine, well by their standards anyway, have forgotten what a solid white line means or that brakes and ice don't mix.  Mothers, all bundled up in their warm coats, seem oblivious to the baby in the stroller they are pushing, into the wind, all the while poor baby is wearing PJ's and is a not so wonderful shade of blue.  

How is it that a little white stuff makes people forget the simplest things? Hey Mr. White Ford Pickup Truck who just slid across two lanes in front of me...That turn at 45 mph wasn't a good idea now was it....Hey little, old, white haired lady with the poodle in her lap, why is your left blinker on when you really wanted to make a right hand turn across 3 lanes of traffic and then flip me off for honking at you...Hey Mr. I Just Got My License, why do you need to practice donuts in the middle of the highway..oh wait your not practicing you just thought 65 thru the snow plow drifts would be "cool dude"...

I like snow, i don't like snowy people. Ok off my soap box and onto the couch with me.....

Anryan

New Stuff, New Stuff!!!

Check out the new stuff my hubby is making!!  You can find these designs, and lots more, at our Etsy shop (shameless plug!!!)...What do you guys think??

I use to....

I use to change your diapers, now i wash jeans that had holes in them when i bought them.

I use to feed you strained peas now you eat anything that doesn't eat you first...except pasta salad.

I use to tell you "No" all the time, now it rarely passes my lips. Not because you are spoiled but because you know what is expected and allowed.

I use to carry you on my hip, now your driving the car down the street.

I use to tuck you into bed each night, now it's a hug and a kiss and see ya in the morning mom.

I use to watch Lion King and Sesame Street with you now we watch Shaun of the Dead and South Park.

I use to hold my breath when you would ride your bike now you do things on a skate board that scares the shit out of me.

I use to buy you cute little baseball hats now only your FOX hat is good enough.

You use to have a friends with names like John and George, now it's Cassie and Taylor.

You use to think Knock Knock jokes were funny now you tell me jokes that make me blush.

You use to think kissing was gross now you make comments like "i kissed those lips".

You use to hate sleeping at anyone's house now i can't keep you home some weekends.

You use to fit in my hands now you are taller then i am,

You use to be my baby now your my young man...sniff

It is amazing the things that stay the same and the things that change as your kids grow up.  It is hard for me to believe that Josh is 18 and lives on his own now.  I use to think "i can't wait until he is 10 and we can....".  Now i just wonder..."when did my little boy become such an wonderful man"

Anryan

Embarrassing things i have done.....

 To get my kids to sleep at night.  If you have kids, i am sure there are nights when you will do just about anything to get them to sleep.   For me this included singing everything from country music to nursery rhymes.   At some point, in the dead of night i am sure, i managed to change a couple nursery rhymes to fit my kids.

For my son.... 

This is a take of on The Grande Old Duke of York.....

My version.."Joshua, Joshua, Josh, he had 10,000 men, he marched them up and he marched them down and he marched them back again.   Now when they were up they were up, and when they were down they were down, and when they were only half way up they were neither up nor down."

The second one is a take of on My Son John...

My version: "Diddle diddle dumplin my son Josh. Went to bed with his trousers on. One shoe on and one shoe off, diddle diddle dumplin my son josh"

For my daughter, there is only one that i changed, it is a take of of Georgie Porgie:

My version..."Morgie Porgie puddin and pie, kissed the boys and made them cry.When the girls came out to play, morgie porgie ran away"

And then of course their is Barney...the dreaded purple pain in the ass...I mean dinosaur.  My son was addicted to this creature and yes, at 2 in the morning, while trying in vein to get him to sleep, i have been known to break into chorus' of "1,2,3,4,5..once i caught a fish alive" or the dreaded "sally the camel has 5 humps"....Thank the goddess there were no tv camera's present to witness such horrid scenes!!!

Anyway, those are a few of the embarrassing things i sang to my kiddo's to get them to sleep so I could sleep.  As you can see Josh was harder and i had to make up more then one for him lol.

Anryan

A walk in my shoes.....

Hi, my name is Anryan and I am your local, neighborhood animal shelter employee. I am the one you all hate, the one that kills all the animals, the one you think must get a thrill out of watching things die.  I wish i could educate you, better yet i wish you could walk a day in my shoes.

Friday is the day that everyone looks forward to,but not me.   Friday is the day i kill animals. I walk up and down the rows of kennels and cages,i look into the brown and blue eyes and decide which ones get to stay and which ones get to go. Too old, too young, too sick, or just plain been here to long. One by one i fold the cards, one by one i walk them back to the euthanasia room. The room where everyone  thinks i like to be.

I give each dog a treat, each cat a spoonful of wet cat food. I pet them and tell them how good they are, how pretty they are, how much I love them. Even the dogs that want to bite me are treated this way. I put them on the blanket covered table, hug them close and give them the calmest, most peaceful death i can. All they feel is a pin prick, no more then thier rabies shot, and then they lay down and all the pain and loneliness stops. 100+ animals later and my job is done. 100+ animals later i take a deep breath and go out to face people bringing in more animals they no longer have the time for, don't want to deal with, can't be bothered to train and have no idea where "fluffy", "Fifi" and fido may end up.

I don't want my job but i would rather be the one doing it knowing i am well trained and give animals a peaceful, painless death which is better then some of the cruel things these poor animals have faced. Please put me out of work, spay / neuter your pet. Every puppy or kitten that is born forces one more animal to walk through my euthanasia door. Animals are not disposable and i am not your garbarge man, please consider the fact that animals are a luxury and not a privilege.

Anryan

Now That Was Awesome!

Zombie crawl was amazing!  It was the coolest thing I have been to in quite sometime.  There were pajama zombies, doctor zombies, chef zombies, hell there were even Bert & Ernie zombies!  Some were really very cheesy, others were scary as hell.  I had a few that made me shudder lol.  The did a group "thriller" dance...nothing like 500 plus zombies doing that !!!  Umbrella corporation (from resident evil) had cars there and soldiers. Ghostbusters car was there too. They had games (shoot the zombies that were attacking you, etc) and people were doing zombie make up for free!

If you had a duct tape "X" on you then you were considered a victim and zombies had free reign to attack you!  Some victims had toy nerf guns to shoot the zombies that attacked and plastic swords as well.  It was cool to watch! They would swarm a victim and take them down to the ground then act like they were eating them.

Next year, and this will become a yearly tradition now, i am going all zombie'd up!!!  They even had an "Organ Trail" which was a combination of the amazing race and fear factor and the winning team won like $300!

Here are a couple pic's, it was amazing!