dogbook....

ok, i have seen alot in my day, and i have had some crazy ideas but Dogbook?!?!?!?.... really?  Why exactly is there a need for your DOG to have his own facebook account basically?  I mean really when did fido learn how to type? What are his status updates going to be "Hey FiFi i just peed on your fire hydrant"...."ooo lala have you seen the cocker spaniel in 3G...i'm gonna get some of that tail".

Plus, how would you feel if your dog had more neighbors then you in castleville? What if they had more friends then you?  What if they posted pic's of you?  What if their status updates were better then yours?  what if they denied your friend request? could you handle that stress? Plus you let a poodle on your computer and your going to end up with all kinds of doggie porn...do you really want to try explain  to the guys at Geeksquad why you have images of Rottweilers in bondage gear whipping poodles who are wearing ball gags?  "No really Chuck, it was my dog that downloaded that..."....sure it was.....

World of Warcraft and Polyamory.

Ok so here is a back ground on WoW for those of you who don't play.  You pick a character, (name, race, class, features, etc) then you go out into the bright computer pixel world and get your game on.  You do quests, get gear and level up from 1 to 85 (thank you to the idiots at blizzard that thought 80 just wasn't high enough grr!).  

Level 1-10 is quick, wham bam thank ya mam. Kinda like a quickie against the refrigerator.  

Then 10-20 is a little slower, however at this point you think you're a bad ass (your not) and start doing instances/dungeons (these are where groups of 5 people get together and play a particular area together to get gear and gold).  This is also the level people start doing battlegrounds (similar to dungeons except your going against other players not computer controlled monsters and bosses) and you really think your all that until you get your ass handed to you by someone 6 levels higher then you. 

So then 20-30 now this is kinda where you start thinking "ok I am just gonna quest and level up, mind my own business get gold and gear. Maybe do a few dungeons, but mostly grind my way thru levels". This is usually a fairly calm time, not too much yelling at the computer screen, but you do spend A LOT of time on the game and not participating in life as we know it. 

Ah then 30-40, well pretty much the rest of the way to 85, you are a dungeon running fool.  Instance after instance, gear gear gear. Unless you are PVP (player vs. player) then you spend you day beating the crap outta other players outside of orgrimmar just so your name shows up in the chat windows and you do battlegrounds all day, all night....Cyber bulling at its best for some people lol. 

Now. Lets say you have made it thru to level 85 (marriage in tact) and you have run dungeons til your fingers have bled from mashing keys. You have epic gear, everyone on your server knows your name, your guild is full of raiding people and you are ready to jump into the coup de gra.....40 man raids.....Your golden, you have made it to the pinnacle, life is grand. No one can whip your ass, you got money, gear, friend's...25 extra pounds of body fat, but who is counting.

Now, here are the similarities....

You are in a monogamous relationship, or single, your interested in polyamory, but you are that level 1 noob.  You know who you are(kinda), what you can and can't do (kinda, but not really), you start seeking people out, or they inadvertently seek you out.  Life is exciting/fun you are starting down that path, doing research, learning stuff but you have yet to pull that sword from its scabbard.  Fairly simple, easy enough.

Then you move into that 10-20 range.  You got this (the hell you do) you crash head first into trade chat "looking for group".  Some poor, unsuspecting folks, say "hey come play with us".  Off you go and enter this relationship with these people and  BAM! Welcome to Level 20 Boss "polyamory".  Your sword breaks, your helmet goes rolling,  you forget what button on your keyboard is attack and basically have your ass handed to you.  

You fall into this relationship feeling like you know it all when you have not got a clue.  But you got this remember?  Ok, lets make rules, ya that's it.  Lets control people's actions and feelings so that you feel better. Ya that will help. Ok, now lets make sure we know that those people fighting with us are really fighting AGAINST us, ya that's it, that is what they are doing it is their fault...Hmmm I thought you said  you had this....hmmm seems like a mound of shit to me. however, now you're in this boss fight and you don't have a clue what to do, so you fight and fuss and claw your way thru. 

Somehow you manage to make it to level 20, a ton of fighting and a hell of a repair bill behind you, with some new tools and equipment to help you.   You decide that your just going to work thru things, do what needs to be done, fix problems and keep moving forward.  Make things better for you and everyone.  So everyone kinda starts settling down, routines are learned, rules are dropped, people start to live. Pretty cool, this is what we were looking for a few levels ago. 

And then you hit level 30, ha ha ha you're a bad ass but your smart. You have figured out what works with your partners, their other partners, etc etc.  You have realized that some things are your fault, some aren't and trying to figure those things out and live together.  You have decided that those people fighting against you are actually fighting for those same goals WITH you. You have learned to be secure in your relationships, for the most part, and you have kept in mind that your partner's didn't do this to hurt you. Quite the opposite. 

You have made it to that point you thought you were going to just start at. You have made your way to 85.  fought fight after fight, got a ton of new gear, tools and equipment.  If you can make it thru the 10's, the 20's, the 30's, if you can fight the fights that need to be fought, learn the skills to make you a better person, level your intelligence, your ability to reason and your ability to think outside the box, then you have made it where we all want to go. That place where you come home, say "hi, I love you" (without wondering who you kiss first) and live your life without thinking about everything all the time.  

Your goal now, at level 85, PASS ON THAT KNOWLEDGE. Teach those noobs you CANNOT go into polyamory and start out as a level 85, geared out, bad ass. hell you can't even start out at level 25!  No matter how much experience you THINK you have at being in a monogamous relationship, or how much you have researched that level 20 boss "POLYAMORY", its going to one shot you every single time til you go slow, level by level, fight by fight.  To do anything else is to epically fail every time you put your clothes on or take them off.

Anryan

A hunter who can hunt without hunting is a good hunter....

Ok so my family is larger then most, not extreme like the Duggars or anything, but not your typical husband and wife and 2.2 kids...There are 7 people in this family.  Well, that being said, times are tough and stretching the dollar is most definitely needed, my solution..go online and find some recipes for things that will feed a large family. 

Now, having cooked for several years i know that if a recipe says "feeds 4" they are talking about 4 servings of about 1 cup per serving...Ok this doesn't work... i have 4 grown men in this household plus a pregnant woman...1 cup servings not happening! If i put 1 cup of something in front of each of them there would be a major revolt and that doesn't even include what the pregnant one would do, i would be murdered in my sleep for sure!!!

But i digress...So i go hunting with my favorite shooting partner Mr. Google for some rib sticking, money saving, feed the damn army recipes...what do i find? Lots of sights that say "large family cooking"..Awesome, Mr. Google, he knows how to hunt lemme tell you.  So imagine my dismay when i click on these recipes and what do they say..Feeds 5, Feeds 4...OMFG Seriously! I am quite certain that the link said Large Family Cooking, perhaps i am getting blind, lemme go back an see...Nope, that is what is says in big bold, underlined letters.  Really, you think 5 is a big family!  What happened to stews that filled 10 gallon pans, hell what happened to 10 gallon pans for that matter!  What happened to recipes for food that fed more then delicate yuppies watching thier calories...I need food people, lots of it and STAT!!!!!!

So after 5 minutes of breathing techniques and a shot of jack daniels it hits me...The Duggars, they got 19 kids, they gotta have recipes to feed 3 armies...So Mr. Google lets go hunting in Arkansas....Mr. Google immediately finds the duggar sight (isn't he amazing!!!) and i click and yup, lookie there a recipes tab...Hallelujah we are saved...um, well, wait a minute Joe Bob Duggar why do your recipes say Feeds 5! Your show is called 19 Kids and Counting!!!  OMG it's a conspiracy, even the duggars won't just gimme a recipe i don't need to double, or triple or quadruple.....  That's it i am taking Mr. Google out back and shooting him behind the woodshed and cooking him for dinner.  Don't worry i will just tell everyone else he ran away.


Anryan

Why do they always say that.....

There have been times when I’ve been really stressed out over something going on in my life only to hear someone say "…just let it go". I tried on a few occasions, but it never quite worked that way for me.   People often say things like "…don’t give it any power, you can actually feed your issues and make them bigger if you constantly think and talk about them”. However, my thought there was that ignoring your issues will not cause them to go away. 

It seems to me that I often think I’m letting go, but what usually happens is that I end up disconnecting from parts of myself. All those painful feelings and conflicted issues then stay trapped in my body. These conflicts will eventually resurface in one form or another.Thoughts, feelings, emotions and life experiences have to be absorbed. 

Many of us struggle with parts of our lives that are not working the way that we want them to. We may try to control the outcome by manipulating other people or the situation that we find ourselves in. In my experience, trying to force matters usually generates more stress and it causes us to jam up inside. The additional pressure we generate may cause things to blow up around us.  Don’t get me wrong, there are times when it’s appropriate to take charge to create a more favorable outcome. But there are times when I now realize that I’m holding on too tightly by trying to control the outcome. I have to stop and allow myself to feel and understand what is going on and that it isn’t necessarily my thing to control.  Fear, anxiety or feelings of frustration definitely surface when I let go of my need to control certain things. I think that understanding these feelings will make it easier for me to come to a place of acceptance, relax into what’s happening and allow things take their course. 

Unresolved issues and unprocessed thoughts, emotions and life experiences seem to accumulate within me. I have become so saturated with all this old clutter that i have very little room to take in anything new. Look at young people today, how they learn quickly, are full of life and they tend to jump right into things. Notice too, how some people slow down and sometimes become set in their ways as they age. They may also have a tendency to live in the past.   I think if you truly look at someone you can see the accumulated residue of people’s past in how they act and their body language. I think that I have become  saturated by the clutter of my unprocessed thoughts, emotions and life experiences and that it has had a tremendous deadening effect on me. I think I have lost that passionate fire within that would renew me and cause me to want to engage in life. It’s as if my circuitry has become so corroded that I have very little openness or receptivity to take in anything new. 

All of us have difficulty moving on at times. People change; friends often move away or grow in different directions. We may have found the love of our life, but we eventually grow old and die. The only constant in my life is change. But if I dwell on those things I become blind to the good things and times that are happening right before me.

We can’t see our emotions and I think that’s why so many people are not aware of the impact they have upon us. Feelings and emotions arise in response to the events taking place in my life and from my interpretation of these events.  The conflicted thoughts, feelings and unresolved issues that I fail to absorb get pushed down inside of me.  I therefore continue to struggle with the same issues throughout the course of my life. I try to change but I find myself running into many of the same problems. Buried emotions keep these patterns locked into place. I can’t change these things unless I begin to absorb the underlying thoughts and emotions. 

I often say that I have forgiven those who have wronged me. I think that a lot of times I am not being honest with myself and still carrying around lots of hurt, resentment and other conflicted thoughts and feelings on the inside.   What would happen if I focused all my attention on a person who has hurt me at some time in my life?   What if I imagined the person as if they were sitting right there in the room with me? How would I feel? What would I say? If I said those things would I start to feel different about that situation, freer from it?  Hell yes I would!!!  How many times have you gotten into a disagreement with someone, walked away talking to yourself and had an epiphany…..wouldn’t that be the exact the same thing!!!!

I think that I, like many people, gain some form of gratification from holding onto past hurts. That it may serve as a means of gaining attention or acknowledgement. For instance, some children could only get attention from their parents by creating some drama or being sick and then  these patterns become more deeply ingrained over time.   It can be a little painful to really look into the mirror and see who I am and what I am doing. It’s important for me to be fully honest with myself and acknowledge the unhealthy ways that I have tried to manipulate myself.  

It can be very difficult to let go of people who for one reason or another are no longer an active part of our lives. Parts of us are still very much attached to these individuals.   Feelings and emotions are the same way.   I think the key to this is to come from a place of acceptance of myself and how i feel by saying something like "…okay, this is what I’m feeling right now … why am I feeling it".

I think I  try to busy myself or create distractions so I don’t have to think about or experience all those unpleasant feelings.  But then all that yuk stays trapped inside of me. I never really resolve the underlying issues when I do that. I then go on down the road in life and end up creating the same kinds of issues all over again.    I think the unhealthy patterns that cause me to fixate on these things are programmed into my subconscious mind. There’s no intellectual process or attitude shift that will change that. These patterns are hardwired into my brain and they have to be reformatted…by me!!!! 

I think that I have to bring my attention to what’s really happening at that moment. This may involve acknowledging something I am uncomfortable with or confronting feelings/experiences I have buried deep down inside. I don’t think that I can just make these things go away but I do think I can allow them to stop owning me and that I can feel the things that I should feel about that situation and then … THEN I can in fact simply let it go.

I think Dr. Suess invented the english language.....

English is the most widely used language in the history of our planet. One in every 7 humans can speak it. More than half of the world's books and  international mail is in English. Of all the languages,it has the largest vocabulary - perhaps as many as 2 MILLION words. Nonetheless, let's face it - English was actually invented by Dr. Suess...... 

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple or pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you comb thru annals of history but not a single annal? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?  If teachers taught, why didn't preacher praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?  How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and wise guy are opposites? How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike? How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?

Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent? Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown? Met a sung hero or experienced requited love? Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable? And where are all those people who ARE spring chickens or who would ACTUALLY hurt a fly?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm clock goes off by going on.

English was invented by Dr. Suess, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all). That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this blog, I end it.

Attack of the 50' mermaid

I was sure it'd be impossible to find a more horrifying mating ritual than the praying mantis, but i think i have found it. You can thank the salmon. You've probably heard the old tale of how salmon swim upstream to mate, but that's not painting the true, terrifying picture....

 

Let's say you and a bunch of friends make a journey to your childhood hometown for an orgy (look, you need to accept that the animal kingdom just has looser rules here). But the trip is dangerous--you'll have to walk across a wilderness filled with enemies, and the air at the destination will kill you if you breathe too much of it. So it's actually kind of like the fellowship in Lord of the Rings traveling to Mordor, only instead of saving Middle Earth, you're looking to grab lots o' strange titty.

By the time you make it to the destination, the trip has been so hard on you and your companions that everyone is wounded or literally rotting on their feet. You've been reduced to a whole bunch of horny zombies. Yup that's right, zombies...  This mass of horny zombies congregates in a disgusting, debauched tangle of genitals and rotting flesh. And as soon as everyone is done sexing it up, the entire undead swinger's convention just drops dead.  

Why in the hell do salmon go through this? Well, they're born in fresh water, but migrate to the sea as they mature. However, at some point in their adult life, a primal desire drives them to swim back to the freshwater they were born in to mate and lay their eggs. Even more amazing, the drive is synchronized in every generation, so everybody you grew up with as a salmon just starts leaving around the same time.

 

In order to survive the journey and deal with the change from salt to freshwater, a lot of hormonal changes take place. Unfortunately, these changes practically destroy their bodies, turning them into zombie fish. What with all the swimming through treacherous, brackish water, surrounded by predators like bears, all while your own body starts shutting down...it's a wonder any of them even make it at all.

And once it's done, they all just die, like some kind of underwater Jamestown. The next generation will benefit by the increase in nutrients in the stream caused by a whole lot of parents-turned-fertilizer, ensuring that the next generation can live on and...die horribly as well?

Could it possibly get any worse? Oh yeah, it can: sex for salmon is external and without anything we humans would regard as pleasure, which is why you should never ever date a mermaid.

Everyone else can freeze....

I see this commercial last night...It is a homeless guy on the street with a "will work for" sign, the next shot is a homeless woman sitting on the ground, her back to a brick wall shivering in the cold, the third shot is another homeless guy pushing a shopping cart of junk...the end result is an ad with the tag line "a home for every veteran"...

Ok, i have an issue here........ 

First of all what makes them a veteran..Is it that they served during a war or are all people who serve considered veterans?  If it just includes people who served during war what do those that served in peace time get? A hand shake and  " sorry we weren't fighting then,maybe next time" ? Because i always thought that you were a veteran no matter when you served and whether you poured sand out of your boots or not you got the same benefits.

Second of all, with the amazing amount of homeless people (including families with children) why are we only willing to "Give" housing to homeless veterans?   And if we can "give" this housing away, why haven't we done it sooner and again for ALL people who are homeless? Would it not make more sense to house these people and make them productive members of society again?

Would it not make more sense to house the needy regardless of their military service?  Is it a ploy by the government to get more people to serve in the military...you know something like (picture Uncle Sam here)  "Enlist now, serve your country and if you ever have a mental breakdown, make bad financial decisions and loose it all, or simply choose to not pay your bills we will give you a home!!!"  Well, gee i guess i better run right out and sign myself up...you never know when i might be homeless.

My parents served in the army, both of them, my husband served in the army.  Are they offered the same benefits as those going to Iraq now? Hell No.  Yes i understand that the men and women over there now are in a time of war and being shot at, etc....So again i ask you , is it OK to change the benefits for military personnel simply because "oh gosh there wasn't a war going on then"....NO.  Is it OK to only provide housing to homeless vets when there are millions of non vets on the street in the same position...NO.

But i guess since my parents, my husband and millions of other VETERANS weren't being shot at daily, they no longer qualify as veterans.  I guess since the woman down by my local post office holding the sign that says "will work for food, shelter, anything" is screwed and will have to continue freezing her butt cheeks off since she didn't serve in the military either.