Saturday, October 29, 2011

Shhhh...Don't Say THAT word...

I am a member of several forums and some of them are sexual in nature.  Some have tips to improve your sex life, some are advice groups on everything from positions to sex toys.  There is something that they all have in common that i find amazing...All the women on these sights can say words like vibrator, dildo, various phrases for having sex, clit, penis, etc but NONE of them seem to manage to say "my period"...

Really? you can say all those other words without a second thought but not that?  Why? Is "My period" more embarrasing to say then "i had anal last night?"  Is having our period so embarrassing that we make up for it with pretty little euphemisms like "Aunt Flo is visiting" or "Miss Scarlet has come to Tara", some unusual ones that i have heard are "vampire trolling", "Dishonorable discharge from the uterine navy" or my personal favorite..."Taking Carrie to the Prom"!!!!!

I mean really ladies if we can talk about taking it up the ass, cumming so hard we squirt and the new pink, rabbit eared 5 speed dildo we just bought then surely we can say "i'm on my period so i didn't get laid last night"..which is a whole lot less embarrassing then saying "I didn't get laid last night because it's Game Day for the Crimson Tide"!!!


Friday, October 28, 2011

Ho Ho...Holy Cow it's only October...

And i have 8" of snow in my back yard.  Where exactly did Fall go?  I am quite certain that it was in existence for about 2 days prior to the new white grass i am now sporting....Don't get me wrong I love snow...very very much...what i don't like is the people who cease to function in the stuff.

People who could drive perfectly fine, well by their standards anyway, have forgotten what a solid white line means or that brakes and ice don't mix.  Mothers, all bundled up in their warm coats, seem oblivious to the baby in the stroller they are pushing, into the wind, all the while poor baby is wearing PJ's and is a not so wonderful shade of blue.  

How is it that a little white stuff makes people forget the simplest things? Hey Mr. White Ford Pickup Truck who just slid across two lanes in front of me...That turn at 45 mph wasn't a good idea now was it....Hey little, old, white haired lady with the poodle in her lap, why is your left blinker on when you really wanted to make a right hand turn across 3 lanes of traffic and then flip me off for honking at you...Hey Mr. I Just Got My License, why do you need to practice donuts in the middle of the highway..oh wait your not practicing you just thought 65 thru the snow plow drifts would be "cool dude"...

I like snow, i don't like snowy people. Ok off my soap box and onto the couch with me.....


Tuesday, October 25, 2011

New Stuff, New Stuff!!!

Check out the new stuff my hubby is making!!  You can find these designs, and lots more, at our Etsy shop (shameless plug!!!)...What do you guys think??

Monday, October 24, 2011

I use to....

I use to change your diapers, now i wash jeans that had holes in them when i bought them.
I use to feed you strained peas now you eat anything that doesn't eat you first...except pasta salad.
I use to tell you "No" all the time, now it rarely passes my lips. Not because you are spoiled but because you know what is expected and allowed.
I use to carry you on my hip, now your driving the car down the street.
I use to tuck you into bed each night, now it's a hug and a kiss and see ya in the morning mom.
I use to watch Lion King and Sesame Street with you now we watch Shaun of the Dead and South Park.
I use to hold my breath when you would ride your bike now you do things on a skate board that scares the shit out of me.
I use to buy you cute little baseball hats now only your FOX hat is good enough.
You use to have a friends with names like John and George, now it's Cassie and Taylor.
You use to think Knock Knock jokes were funny now you tell me jokes that make me blush.
You use to think kissing was gross now you make comments like "i kissed those lips".
You use to hate sleeping at anyone's house now i can't keep you home some weekends.
You use to fit in my hands now you are taller then i am,
You use to be my baby now your my young man...sniff

It is amazing the things that stay the same and the things that change as your kids grow up.  It is hard for me to believe that Josh is 18 and lives on his own now.  I use to think "i can't wait until he is 10 and we can....".  Now i just wonder..."when did my little boy become such an wonderful man"


Embarrassing things i have done.....

 To get my kids to sleep at night.  If you have kids, i am sure there are nights when you will do just about anything to get them to sleep.   For me this included singing everything from country music to nursery rhymes.   At some point, in the dead of night i am sure, i managed to change a couple nursery rhymes to fit my kids.

For my son.... 

This is a take of on The Grande Old Duke of York.....
My version.."Joshua, Joshua, Josh, he had 10,000 men, he marched them up and he marched them down and he marched them back again.   Now when they were up they were up, and when they were down they were down, and when they were only half way up they were neither up nor down."

The second one is a take of on My Son John...
My version: "Diddle diddle dumplin my son Josh. Went to bed with his trousers on. One shoe on and one shoe off, diddle diddle dumplin my son josh"

For my daughter, there is only one that i changed, it is a take of of Georgie Porgie:

My version..."Morgie Porgie puddin and pie, kissed the boys and made them cry.When the girls came out to play, morgie porgie ran away"

And then of course their is Barney...the dreaded purple pain in the ass...I mean dinosaur.  My son was addicted to this creature and yes, at 2 in the morning, while trying in vein to get him to sleep, i have been known to break into chorus' of "1,2,3,4,5..once i caught a fish alive" or the dreaded "sally the camel has 5 humps"....Thank the goddess there were no tv camera's present to witness such horrid scenes!!!

Anyway, those are a few of the embarrassing things i sang to my kiddo's to get them to sleep so I could sleep.  As you can see Josh was harder and i had to make up more then one for him lol.


A walk in my shoes.....

Hi, my name is Anryan and I am your local, neighborhood animal shelter employee. I am the one you all hate, the one that kills all the animals, the one you think must get a thrill out of watching things die.  I wish i could educate you, better yet i wish you could walk a day in my shoes.

Friday is the day that everyone looks forward to,but not me.   Friday is the day i kill animals. I walk up and down the rows of kennels and cages,i look into the brown and blue eyes and decide which ones get to stay and which ones get to go. Too old, too young, too sick, or just plain been here to long. One by one i fold the cards, one by one i walk them back to the euthanasia room. The room where everyone  thinks i like to be.

I give each dog a treat, each cat a spoonful of wet cat food. I pet them and tell them how good they are, how pretty they are, how much I love them. Even the dogs that want to bite me are treated this way. I put them on the blanket covered table, hug them close and give them the calmest, most peaceful death i can. All they feel is a pin prick, no more then thier rabies shot, and then they lay down and all the pain and loneliness stops. 100+ animals later and my job is done. 100+ animals later i take a deep breath and go out to face people bringing in more animals they no longer have the time for, don't want to deal with, can't be bothered to train and have no idea where "fluffy", "Fifi" and fido may end up.

I don't want my job but i would rather be the one doing it knowing i am well trained and give animals a peaceful, painless death which is better then some of the cruel things these poor animals have faced. Please put me out of work, spay / neuter your pet. Every puppy or kitten that is born forces one more animal to walk through my euthanasia door. Animals are not disposable and i am not your garbarge man, please consider the fact that animals are a luxury and not a privilege.


Sunday, October 23, 2011

Now That Was Awesome!

Zombie crawl was amazing!  It was the coolest thing I have been to in quite sometime.  There were pajama zombies, doctor zombies, chef zombies, hell there were even Bert & Ernie zombies!  Some were really very cheesy, others were scary as hell.  I had a few that made me shudder lol.  The did a group "thriller" dance...nothing like 500 plus zombies doing that !!!  Umbrella corporation (from resident evil) had cars there and soldiers. Ghostbusters car was there too. They had games (shoot the zombies that were attacking you, etc) and people were doing zombie make up for free!

If you had a duct tape "X" on you then you were considered a victim and zombies had free reign to attack you!  Some victims had toy nerf guns to shoot the zombies that attacked and plastic swords as well.  It was cool to watch! They would swarm a victim and take them down to the ground then act like they were eating them.

Next year, and this will become a yearly tradition now, i am going all zombie'd up!!!  They even had an "Organ Trail" which was a combination of the amazing race and fear factor and the winning team won like $300!

Here are a couple pic's, it was amazing!

Friday, October 21, 2011

I REALLY shoulda listened...but where would the fun in that be!!!!

Ignorance really is bliss. In almost anything, but in my life that saying reigns supreme.  This became frighteningly clear when i decided to plant pumpkins.  Irish looks at me and says "ok make a mound of dirt and poke 1 seed into each mound and you will be good"...oh no no no, that is too much left to chance...Crop Failure!! I will end up with 1 pumpkin!!  

So i smile sweetly at him and say "yes dear, i got this" and proceed to plant 7 pumpkin seeds into each little mound ... I had 10 mounds in the garden, you do the math lol.  He comes back outside and says "what are you going to do with the rest of the seeds" and i said..."um, what rest of them..i planted them all" the dumb founded look he gave me i smiled sweetly and said "hush, i am compensating for crop failure, they can't all possibly grow"....Bad, Bad choice of words!!!

Ok, so fast forward 2 weeks(ish) and i go outside and there are little green shoots everywhere in these pumpkin mounds.  I'm thinking "uh oh, well maybe he won't notice"..and go about my business of taking care of my "babies".  

Now we fast forward about a month and a half after planting....I now live in the pumpkin forest.  I kid you not, the damn things are everywhere, they are like that pink mass in the Blob..they keep putting more and more vines out EVERYWHERE! I have rose bushes screaming in terror, broccoli plants cowering in the corners, it's anarchy in my back yard....Charlie Brown, come on down, the great pumpkin is sure to appear in this yard!!!

so, pumpkin forest continues to grow and low and behold i have pumpkins...big, fat orange pumpkins and it is only AUGUST...I wanted Halloween pumpkins...So a harvesting we go....22 pumpkins later i am looking at my counter going "Omg, i don't even LIKE pumpkin!!"....Thank god for Google and Old Farts for neighbors!

Did i mention Irish had previously mentioned i was insane for planting all 70 pumpkin seeds?  Did i mention that i told him "i got this"?...Well like i said ignorance is bliss and i got more pumpkin then i know what to do with and that was just the first harvest!  Irish however has learned the diplomacy of a good husband and has yet to say "i told you so"...he just looks at me and shakes his head when i bring in more pumpkins from outside.

So i pay homage to Google for the pumpkin pie, bread, cheesecake, cake, muffin, pretzel and countless other recipes i made.  I bow to my neighbors for continuously taking baked pumpkin this and fried pumpkin that off my hands.  I throw a prayer to the goddess that my family indulgently eats every piece of pumpkin i cook.  And i graciously thank all my friends for the pumpkin seed recipes..who knew you could flavor them!!!

So ignorance is bliss, and wives should listen to thier husbands....I refuse to admit to this knowledge even if i did just type it....Wonder what would happen if i throw out a package of watermelon seeds next year!!!!  Can't be any worse then the 63 pumpkins i have harvested!!!


Masochistic Therapy or a Good Time?

I have this obsession...I have tried not to look, not to watch, I have tried to ignore that it was there and i can't do it....What makes this obsession worse is that i am completely terrified of what i am obsessed with and that thing is ZOMBIES!! Yup, the undead, the walking corpse, the brain eating sub-human...i can't resist them. If a zombie movie is on, i have to watch it. The Walking Dead...gotta see it every Sunday, no exceptions. The problem i have with this obsession is, in case i failed to mention it,  I AM SCARED TO DEATH OF ZOMBIES!  I have horrid nightmares every time i watch a zombie show/movie. If i am home alone at night, a baseball bat is always within reach!!

Grim, my husband, has decided that it is time to "exorcise" this demon.  It is time to face my fear in what he calls a "good time for all"....Zombie Crawl 2011.  That's right, here in Denver we have the largest zombie gathering in the U.S. every October and guess who is going tomorrow....ME the zombie obsessed woman who is afraid of her obsession!!! 

Masochistic therapy is what i call it, fun is what Grim calls it...hmmmmmm.  1,000 zombies and me, no baseball bat, no machete, no boom stick...just me surrounded by the undead....

I Can't Wait!!!!!!


Thursday, October 20, 2011

How the hell does that work

when ever someone finds out that we are polyamorous the questions start flying and usually faster then i can type the answers. 

 What the hell is polyamory? Aren't you just polygamists?

Polyamory is the love of more than one person in a romantic and emotional sense.  We are all capable of loving more than one person, which is why we can love more than one child, more than one friend, etc.  People who practice polyamory choose to love more than one person romantically, and yes sexually. People who practice polyamory can be heterosexual, homosexual or bi-sexual.

Polygamy is typically associated with  Fundamentalist Mormons and is religious based and typically in Polygamy there is multiple marriage.  The other big difference it that typically, polygamy is one husband and several wives, in polyamory the combinations are endless.

When talking to poly folk you will hear some interesting new words...Polyandry (which is a woman with two or more husbands), polyfidelity (which is a form of polyamory where all members are equal partners and agree to be sexually active only with members within the group), Triad (a three way relationship where all parties usually are involved with each other), a Vee (where one person is involved with two others but those others aren't involved with each other), Primary (this is the person you were with prior to choosing poly), Secondary (this is the new person brought into a relationship), NRE (new relationship energy, that feeling when you first fall in love and all you can think of is that person).

Ok, so now I know what your saying but how do you decide to do that....

For everyone i think they come about their lifestyle choices as they learn who they are, or as they are learning who they are.  Society teaches us that monogamy is what we should all strive for and what is acceptable.  Never mind that ancient cultures, and yes even people of the bible, practiced polyamory...but i digress.  For Grim and I it started as a series of  conversations after hearing of the concept.  We discussed the psychological do people handle jealousy, how do people split their time, how would you handle the secrecy and judgement of others, etc.  We also discussed the sociological aspects of would you assimilate into a monogamous world as poly,  how would your family treat you, etc.  We talked about these things for quite some time and after about 2 yrs of talking we decided if the opportunity presented itself we would give it a shot.  We didn't start looking for people, nor did we have people in mind, they kinda found us a few months after we made our decision lol.

Ok, so you decided monogamy wasn't for you.  When you found someone else, how did you figure out the know who sleeps where and when, etc
This takes a bit of work, and every poly family will have a different way of doing is our way.  First off Rules, you have to be careful with rules...they have a way of multiplying and taking over your lives i a bad way.  We started off with tons of rules (for everything from who sleeps where to who sits where at dinner) and slowly realized that we weren't living our lives, we were following a manual and miserable. So, here is what we do as far as logistics/living...

1.) we sleep two nights with each partner then change.  So I sleep with Grim for 2 nights, then with Irish for 2 nights then back to Grim for 2 nights, etc.  When i sleep with Irish then David sleeps with Cerena.

That's it, that is the only rule still in existence.  We don't change nights unless it is an anniversary.  Birthdays, holidays, whatever, we sleep with whom we are scheduled. 

Ok, well that makes sense...So what about all those other questions that monogamous people don't understand.

How do you prevent pregnancy.....the same way as monogamous couples do, condoms, birth control pills, vasectomy, tubal ligation, etc.  In our house I have had my tubes tied and Cerena is on birth control pills.

What happens if you want to have sex with someone and it isn't your night with them...Our decision was to not have sex with the person we aren't sleeping with that night.  For us it is about respect, other poly families have other thoughts i am sure.

Why stay married.... Because I love my husband and I don't see the need to be divorced simply because i have added another person to my life, or him to his.  A lot of people will say that I have disrespected the sanctity of my marriage vows, but since no where in them did they say "forsaking all others" i am not sure that is true lol  Even if it was, to me everyone's concept of marriage is different and it isn't up to anyone else, except me and my family, to determine if we are disrespectful of anything.

What do you tell the kids....For us it was something we discussed with them before Irish and Cerena came into our lives.  Our kids were 8 and 15 at that point and we had open, honest discussions with them about what we thought.  When we found Irish and Cerena, then we introduced them to the kids right away and allowed them to form their own friendships naturally.

How do you handle Jealousy...There was a lot of jealousy in the beginning but over time we all learned a very valuable  Jealousy, to us, is a sign of something in our lives not being met and if you sit and figure out what that is and discuss it the jealousy disappears instantly and your original problem is solved appropriately.

there are a million other questions, and issues, that i will address randomly in this blog.  Problems that we faced, things we have overcome, situations we encounter and stumble thru.  Feel free to comment and ask anything, i am completely open to anything and can't be offended lol.


Who We Are..

Welcome to our little village.  My name is Anryan I am a stay at home mom to two kids (Joshua who is 18 and Morgan who is 11) and home school my 11 yr old.  I have been married to my husband, Grim, for 16 yrs and I have been with my significant other, Irish, for 3 yrs.  Ok, what!  Two Men?!?  Yup you read that right, we are poly-amorous. Just to make things even more fun, my husband also has a significant other, a woman named Cerena, who has also been with us for about 3 yrs.  I know, this brings up TONS of questions and you will find a lot of those answers in the post called "How the hell does that work".  

Anyway, as I said i am a stay at home mom and take care of the house, school work, cooking, etc.  Grim has a business from the house making all kinds of things, check out our etsy shop @  He makes some amazing things and is always adding new stuff!  Irish is a welder by trade and loves his job.  He makes railings, trailers, pretty much anything from functional to pretty.  Cerena does retail, she has worked for Game Stop as well as loan companies and a few others.  

Home life, as you will learn if you keep up with this, is never dull lol.  Between the day to day things, our lifestyle choice, the home business and well life in general there is never a boring moment...chaotic yes, boring no!

Hope to see you around!